Waiting
by kaitou-marron
Summary: This is a collection of introspective one-shots in different characters' point of view about their feelings for Gauche and their desires for his safe return. Ch. 1: Lag's POV; Ch. 2: Aria's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Vision 1: Waiting… for a Hero to come home**

For as long as he could remember, Lag dreamed. Many of the dreams that he had had early in his life were nightmares centered on his mother's kidnapping, forcing him to relive his most terrible memories. Such trauma in his childhood caused him to yearn for his mother. He both simultaneously waited for her return and wanted to search for her. However, waiting and wanting were not the same as actually accomplishing anything, and after some time, he realized he possessed little hope in his heart of seeing his mother again.

Then, when he was seven, he had an experience that changed his life: being delivered as a letter by Gauche Suede. There was something about the young man – his strong focus, his unwavering confidence, and his kind heart – that shook Lag's outlook on life down to its core and made him feel a stir of hope deep within him. Suddenly, his dream to see his mother again didn't seem impossible anymore, and he knew he owed his ability to hope and dream to Gauche.

After being delivered to his aunt in Campbell Litus, Lag's memories of the young man who had touched his life and his soul in such a profound manner solidified into admiration. Gauche became the ideal he aspired to be like. He, too, wanted to deliver letters and to aid others in sharing their heart and pure emotions with their loved ones; he wanted to be able to give others happiness and comfort, just like he had received from Gauche. Deep down inside, he yearned for the opportunity and ability to save others' heart, the way that Gauche had saved his. So he dreamed of becoming a Letter Bee and of meeting his hero, Gauche, once more.

However, things hadn't gone quite as Lag had planned when he arrived at the Bee Hive. He had been anxious to see Gauche. He wanted to show Gauche how he had matured from the cry-baby boy he had been years ago; his heart and determination was partly a tribute to the other Letter Bee. After learning about Gauche's disappearance, he felt devastated, deflated, and crushed. But somehow, unlike his initial reaction to the loss of his mother, disbelief that his hero was lost to him forever resounded inside him. He still possessed hope in his heart that his Gauche wasn't gone forever. As long as he had hope, he had heart, and he could move forward.

Lag's new dream was of bringing Gauche home, not only for himself, but also for the many others who loved and missed Gauche as much as he did. He wanted to put an end to Sylvette's pain and tears over losing her only family member (a feeling he was all too familiar with). He wanted Aria to look like she had in the glimpse of Gauche's memories he had seen, a bright young woman with a lively spark, rather than the collected young woman he had met at the Bee Hive, whose green eyes held the unfortunate wisdom of loss. He wanted all of the others at the Bee Hive to get a chance to express their true feelings for Gauche, just as badly as he wanted the same opportunity for himself.

Through his own pain and anguish, Lag still held the unwavering belief that if he was just patient enough, he'd be given the opportunity to save Gauche's heart. So, Lag dreamed of a day he'd be able to bring the real Gauche back to his loved ones. He was waiting for the day he would be able to live up to his promise to do just that… for the day that he'd be able to see his hero again.

**Author's Notes: **The end…for this particular short. As stated in the summary, I may continue with this theme using other characters' points of view. (I really want to, but my time has been limited. And my muse has been temperamental.) I hope it was enjoyable. ^.^


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **Hmm, from a cursory glance, it appears that the end of the anime diverges from the manga (which I haven't read and now must do). XD;;; There may be vague spoilers about what Aria finds out about the Day of Flicker. Much thanks to Analineblue for beta-ing this chapter (and for making me think about how to more clearly convey what I wanted to).

**Vision 2: Waiting… for a future that should have been **

Night time was when Aria felt the most alone. It didn't matter whether she was at home or at work. Something about the pitch-black sky felt cold, threatening, and empty all at once. She found it odd that so many different but equally ominous words could be used to describe one noun, which is what made darkness so frightening.

Tonight, she just wanted to finish up her work and return home to Bolt, so she could have contact with some sort of comfort. However, the stack of papers she was working on - mid-year reviews for Lloyd - was large, and she had the feeling she wouldn't be finishing any time soon. Without much thought, she scanned Lloyd's comments making sure that at a cursory level they made some sort of sense, and then signed and stamped the page. Then she grabbed the next one on the stack.

SEEING, LAG. The name was clearly printed, but Aria had to look at it twice for her eyes to focus and process the name. Seeing it surprised her for some reason, and she wasn't quite sure why. Discomfort curled in her stomach at the thought of the young, Albisian boy who seemed to possess many of the same characteristics as someone dear to her. She didn't want to think about that person though, not tonight, a night where the darkness seemed particularly cruel and unforgiving… But staring at Lag's file she couldn't help herself.

'_Gauche.'_

For her it was all about Gauche; it always had been. As an independent and accomplished young woman, she hated to admit it, even to herself. But his kind and giving nature had made it impossible for her to leave him alone since childhood. If she didn't at least try to take care of him, nobody would be there to make sure that he didn't work himself into an early grave. He was part of the reason she had entered a profession that in all honesty didn't suit her well. He was the reason she had often stayed at the Bee Hive well into the evening in the earlier days of her career, even when she had already finished her day's worth of deliveries.

With a frustrated sigh, she threw down her pen. Tonight had already felt isolating enough without memories of Gauche eating at her heart. With a shaking hand, she opened the left-hand drawer of her desk and pulled out a book – _The Manual of Professional Practices for Letter Bees_. Fingers deftly flipped to a page she knew by heart, where she had hidden a single picture; it was a photograph of her and Gauche as children, taken by a mother he had long forgotten. It was her secret way to keep Gauche near her even when he was away, and it served to give her emotional comfort throughout the years.

In the photograph, they were young, and they were happy. Her eyes blurred as tears threatened to surface. How many times had she cried over the loss of Gauche? Too many to count, and way too many to let any more tears fall. Removing her glasses, she set them down, and lowered her face to her hands. She tried to re-direct her thoughts elsewhere, but it was too late. Memories, hope, and dreams crashed over her.

From a young age, adults and peers alike had recognized the special closeness that she and Gauche shared. Although he was an earnest and thoughtful person, Gauche had a tendency to withdraw from people. That wasn't to say he wasn't well liked - quite the opposite in fact - it was more as if he didn't go out of his way to maintain close ties to many of his acquaintances. However, for whatever reason, he treated her differently from all of the others, and she had spent a lifetime (until the past five years, really) being told that she and Gauche were obviously meant to be together. That had always been fine with her. She loved Gauche, and the vague notion of "someday" had always been enough in the past.

Someday…after Gauche became Head Bee, she'd have her chance to tell him how she felt about him, and he'd realize that he felt the same way. Someday…after Gauche provided for Sylvette to his heart's content, they'd be able to figure out how to proceed with their relationship. Someday the two of them would be together. She had at one point believed in that future with every fiber of her being…up until the day she was asked to deliver the notice of Gauche's termination to Sylvette. It wasn't clear to her until that day how much she loved Gauche.

Tears fell from her eyes, spilling into her waiting hands. Suddenly, as if taunting her, a single thought repeated itself in her head: '_A heart that has been lost cannot be returned.'_

The ache in her heart twisted even deeper. Even though logically she comprehended the possibility that Gauche might not be able to recover his lost heart, something inside of her wouldn't let her abandon hope.

'_Someday. Someday. Someday.'_ In the past five years, the meaning of that word had changed for her. It had gone from a word of assurance to that of a desperate prayer, one that she couldn't let go of. She had dreamed about her "someday" a million times: sharing a meal with Gauche, enjoying quiet conversation, simply being with Gauche. She couldn't let herself believe that the future she had been waiting for and dreaming about for such a long time could crumble this easily. So to this day, on particularly lonely nights like tonight, Aria would fantasize about a future with Gauche, a future that had once seemed inevitable, a future that by all rights should have been reality by now, but by a cruel twist of fate simply wasn't.

**The End…**

Until the next short (either in Niche's or Sylvette's POV, I haven't decided which one to do next. =p)


End file.
